Transitioning – Time to Move!
Transitioning is a challenging time in your life. I have experienced numerous transitions in my life in varying degrees, and it’s always mentally and emotionally difficult. I have a great top that I recently purchased to use in my Wellness Business that says “If it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you!” and for me that is exactly what transitioning does in your life. As with all things it can be for good or for bad, but either way it’s always impacting.
If it doesn’t challenge you it wont change you!
One such time for me was making the decision to move. I was living in a flat and dreamt of having my own home with my own garden and space for the children to have their own rooms and better opportunities educationally. But at the time I could not see how I was to do it, let alone afford a house. As with most things in my life a series of impacting events started to occur, that challenged my thinking at the time. My environment became very uncomfortable for me, dare I say even hostile. In fact, I was moved to the point of hating where I was. Not only mentally but physically to. However, I was still slow to act, and because of that things in my life got hotter, for the purpose of one thing and one thing only, getting me to move!! (There is something about a comfort zone at times, that doesn’t work in your best interest).
Transitioning is an uncomfortable place. I found it to be a point in my life where, I felt trapped, and at times boxed in. I could neither go forward nor backward. I wanted to jump – but what too? What I wanted or dreamt of didn’t seem to be ready yet? the timing was not right! I experienced all these questions and emotions constantly. It created the fog or woodland in my head through which I had to make sense, and find a clear path. But there came a point where finally things fell into place and I had found my new home, and I had the car to complete my daily commute. In fact all the big questions or things that needed answering at the time were met, all I had to do was pack, booked the removal company and go, but, I didn’t. So in the end, the thing that got me to finally move was a new neighbour chose to complain about the noise I and my children made. Me! Miss Quiet and mindful of others. The previous neighbour had said how quiet I was and he could not believe I had children…..hmmm. When you have out-stayed your time or the moment when things will happen that make no sense to you, maybe hints. It’s time to go!
The other major turning point was that the water company started to do some major road works near my block in order to replace some major pipes and it triggered a mouse infestation in my home, that brought me to the point of saying enough is enough!! Finally, I moved with the decision that I would do the long commute each day as long as I had to. The heat under the frying pan had been truly turned up!
Another key transition time for me was facing redundancy. Once again, my environment became extremely uncomfortable and difficult. My mindset and emotions were extremely challenged. One day I found my self so low I went to bed crying and when I woke up I did not recognise myself in the mirror. I had to say to myself I am not having this. Once again my enough was enough mentality kicked in. So I looked to my faith and prayer. I said ‘How can I say I believe in God and behave like this?’ What’s that point of having a faith if you don’t use and apply it to my life? That was a fundamental shift, that enabled me to face the changes going on differently, from a new mental perspective.
For me one of the key things you have to do during a time of transition is to change your thinking. You cannot move forward with the same mentality. Einstein says ‘You cannot solve a problem with the mindset that created it.’
Einstein says ‘You cannot solve a problem with the mindset that created it.
Likewise, you cannot take your old mindset with you if you are to embrace and fully exploit the change you are moving into. Mis-timming your move or desperately trying to keep hold of the present in the face of change are desperate actions and you end up being the victim of them.
In both these situations I had to change my mindset on a fundamental level. They caused paradigm shifts in me and I am going through another shift in my life again currently. I see transition like those stunts you see in the movies. Two huge HGV lorries moving at speed. The one I am on is going in a direction I no longer wish to go. I can see the lorry next to me that I need to be on. But my challenge is how do I get from here to there, safely! (See that’s me, I am not the greatest of risk takers. I have to think, assess and weight up everything, lol!) The fact is that neither lorry is slowing down, because they are both at that time vehicles of change. One is for you the other is against you. My dilemma is – I have no idea how I am going to move across. Should I leap, and hope all goes well? Do I need some kind of plan and equipment? All the time, the clock is ticking, I know I can’t stay here forever, but I also know my timing has to be right. What to do?
But, at some point I do jump. I do make that change. From my experiences I feel there are four stages to transition.
1. The Frying Pan Stage – The Uncomfortable stage of time. Things get very negative and pressured around you. If can propel you into panic or fight/flight mentality.
2. The Re-positioning Stage – The learning and adapting. Adapting to the negative changes going on around you while learning the new things you need for where you want to go. So planning for yourself, researching, exploring, learning new skills, decision making both difficult and easy, etc.
3. The Leap – Decision made – Go for it!
4. The Landing – Now your on your new lorry. Things have changed. You are going where you want to go or you are in the place you need to be, all you have to do now is work it and make it happen!
Transitioning is an important vehicle of change in your life. Change isn’t always comfortable and easy. There are personal lessons to be learnt and for me I have always grown from my experiences. So if you are transitioning, and find yourself in one of the above stages I mentioned, then I wish you well. I say don’t fight or rage against it. Instead find the new mindset you need that will equipped you to best manage it. To transform it from a place of fear into a positive place. Having a positive state of mind makes a serious difference.
Be the change you want to be, until next time.
Aquene7 = Peace